Don’t Be Fooled by “Neocat Talk”

[The following is a translation of a post from our friends at the Osservatorio. It originally appeared in Italian in May 2022, and can be found here.]

An important reminder for the Catholic faithful: the Neocatechumenal jargon arbitrarily modifies the meaning of certain words in the Christian lexicon, in order to deceive interlocutors. Some examples:

“Small community,” in Neocatechumenal parlance, does not mean a community of, say, a few dozen members. Instead, it means “a community that slavishly follows the clownish and heretical dictates of Kiko Argüello and Carmen Hernández.”

“Evangelization,” in Neocat slang, does not mean announcing the Gospel, but only means “performing the Kikian-Carmenian liturgical carnivals and trying to establish new Neocat communities” (to the detriment of parishes and dioceses, using any tricks and cunning necessary).

“Catechesis,” in Neocat rhetoric, does not mean presenting the arguments of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, but only means parroting the heretical nonsense of Kiko and Carmen, while avoiding questions, discussions, and above all comparisons with the Catechism, the Magisterium, and Tradition.

“Ecclesial communion/unity,” to the fluent Neocat, does not mean actual ecclesial communion or ecclesial unity, but rather the prohibition of pointing out the errors and injustices of the Way, even if there were no criticisms.

“Openness to life,” in Neocat discourse, does not mean welcoming all the children that God will want to give you, but only means trying to churn out children like rabbits in order to boast “large families,” in order to pretend to be “more Catholic than Catholics” (and also to assure the sect new members to pay tithing to Kiko as soon as they turn 18). It also constitutes a reason for vanity at the assemblies, to the point that even unfinished pregnancies and imaginary ones are counted: “I have twelve children, eight of whom are in heaven.”

“Freedom,” in the Neocat bombast, does not mean freedom, but only means “adherence to the dictates of the Kikian-Carmenian sect and to the moods of the so-called “catechist” in vogue at the moment. For example, if a “brother of the Way” dares to donate something to a charitable work not linked to the Way, he will be accused of being wasteful, a spendthrift, of having idols, of acting for his own vanity, not having given freely, etc., in spite of true Christian freedom. Imagine if he donates his “tithing” elsewhere, rather than to the Way and to his greedy and insatiable representatives (who have already budgeted his “tithes” and therefore go on a rampage if they can’t bag what they expected).

“Great mission,” in Neocat garrulity, does not mean great mission, but only means a Neocatechumenal preschool show with a round dance. In the picture below, children have been included so the “ring-around-the-rosie” is not extremely embarrassing…

“The Way is an instrument at the service of the bishops” is a Neocat catchphrase that actually means its opposite: the bishops must be an instrument at the service of the Way. If a bishop does not accept the Way, the Neocats say that he “does not know it” (implied: “let him know, because whoever knows it must necessarily accept it”). If a bishop refuses the Way, the Neocats will say he is a pharaoh, a Judas, hostile to the Spirit, etc.

“The Way ends with the renewal of baptismal promises,” in Neocat advertising, does not mean the Way “ends” (much less with a stage called “renewal of baptismal promises”), but that the Way never ends. In fact, in the Way, there is no “stage” in which one is exempted from paying tithes or from participating in “convivences” (as expensive as they are useless). Furthermore, it makes no sense that a self-styled “itinerary for Christian initiation” requires renewing baptismal promises, as if this were something the Church does not do at the right time.

“Little faith,” in Neocat logorrhea, does not mean “little Christian faith,” but only means not having fulfilled the many thousands of obligations to the Way: to pay the “tithe” (the true Church has never demanded it); to recite Kiko’s Lauds (“Household Praises,” which in any case the Church has never imposed on the laity; note, too, that the Way should recite these on Sunday morning, so as to keep you from going to the normal parish Mass); participate in the so-called “convivences” of the Way (the true Church has never commanded “convivences” to grow the faith of Christian communities in any age); etc.

“Parish life,” in Neocat mumbo jumbo, does not mean participating in the life of the parish, but only means marking one’s presence in order to be seen. Examples: the typical Neocat layman, who goes to recite the breviary at the parish; the typical Neocat laywoman, who engages in some parish activity only for the purposes of co-opting other people into the Way (and if she’s part of the cleaning group, you’ll see her not with a rag and broom, but with an outstretched arm and a loud voice to command from here and beyond); or the typical Neocat who organizes some parish trip or whatever (but only to earn money and prestige for the Way, and infest the journey with Kikian songs).

“WYD (World Youth Day),” in Neocat loquacity, does not mean World Youth Day, but only an opportunity to perform at some ecclesiastical event (to seem to be more numerous and “more Christian than Christians”). Above all, it means meeting with the idol Kiko (which takes place once WYD has already finished, since “Kiko” was not part of the WYD program).

“Persecution,” in Neocat rants, only means critical observation of the Way. Anyone who does not praise the triple idol of the superior category (Kiko-Carmen-Way) is “persecuting” the brothers of the Way, especially if the critical observation is flawlessly true and easily verifiable.

When a Neocat scolds you, “Fake news! It is not like you say!”
it means that you have hit the target perfectly.

We stop here, but the list could go on and on. We hope to have clarified a fundamental point: the Way deliberately alters the meaning of words in the Christian lexicon, with the express purpose of deceiving interlocutors.

Let us remember that in the Holy Church – the one that for two millennia has continued the work of Our Lord, spiritually guiding souls, teaching them the holy doctrine, sanctifying them through the sacraments – there is room for everyone, for every sensibility, with or without community life. Your faith is not measured by the number of people in the group to which you belong. Even if the form of the Church is “communal” (organized into “parishes” and “dioceses,” having “convents” and “monasteries,” and societies for “consecrated life,” etc.), “making community” in the manner of the Neocats is not at all necessary for the life of the Christian. We note this from the lives of many saints, including holy hermits. Whoever merely attends the parish for the sacraments alone is by no means “less Christian” than those who continually busy themselves, Neocat or not. The Christian needs the sacraments (frequent confession and communion, in due course), the doctrine of the faith (the Catechism and Magisterium), spiritual guidance (even if only in the advice given by one’s confessor), and that’s it. Anything else is either a great help to live these three (like personal prayer), or it’s a hindrance, a hobby to waste time, or a form of pride.

In the Neocatechumenal mentality, being a Christian is replaced by looking more Christian than others. This is why the troubled followers of “Don Kikolone” and Sister Carmen love to brag about their church stuff (“but I do the morning praises,” “but I participate in WYD, and what do you do?” “but I evangelize and exorcise the cities, what do you do for the Church instead?” …), especially the imaginary stuff.

Let us also remember that ecclesial movements – including the Way – are called to be a help, not a burden. The Way fails this task miserably since it is founded on the idolatry of the Golden Calf of the Superior Category, that is, the Kiko-Carmen-Way Tripod.